Friday, 12 August 2011

23 Weeks today!

So yet again, not a great week for me, but I'm trying to be positive so I am posting about our little bean:

This week, Baby is the size of: a papaya
How far along? 23 weeks
Due date: 12/09/2011
Total weight gain/loss: 12 lbs total
Maternity clothes? It's been warm here so I've been wearing summer dresses (finally)
Sleep: Insomnia, Dr prescribed me Ativan but I told her I don't want to take it (I'll explain below)
Best moment this week: Going out for dinner last night with T's family
Movement: Little bean is moving everyday, several times a day
Food cravings: I satisfied my craving for veggie wraps and they were so delicious! This week, lemonade tea
Food aversions: Not much anymore, thank goodness
Symptoms: Back is sore, hips and pelvis is sore, headaches, pains in my belly
Gender: Unknown... we'll probably keep it that way (I'm pretty sure it's a boy)
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? In (probably not for much longer)
Feeling toward Pregnancy: Sad that it's going to fast, I feel like my depression is taking away from the pregnancy this time and I can't enjoy it
What I miss: Enjoying my job
What I am looking forward to:  My Dr's appointment next week (Explain below)
Randoms: See below

So on the advice of my counsellor, family and friends I talked to the Dr yesterday about a possible stress leave from work. After speaking with my counsellor on Monday, she told me that she would be happy to speak to the Dr and also recommend a stress leave as it would be the most beneficial course of action for me and the baby right now. 

I spoke with Dr. M about it yesterday and he initial response was "Yes, I believe that you would really benefit from this and I can approve that for you." Great, I was very relieved and we continued on with the appointment. Then she asks me if I have ever considered medication (anti-depressants, or anti-anxiety). I explained to her that this is not an option for me, and this is why I'm paying almost $300 dollars a month on counselling. She continued to push Ativan on me (anti-anxiety), and explained that I should take it when I'm feeling stressed or anxious about something and see how work improves from there. I reluctantly took the prescription as this appeared to be the only solution she was willing to offer me (not sure why she changed her mind from the beginning of the appointment to the end of the appointment?) She asked me to come back on Wednesday and let her know how things are going, if it doesn't seem to be working for me then she would approve the leave.

I left the Dr's office extremely mad! After telling her medication is not an option for me, especially during pregnancy she continued to shove it down my throat! My initial reaction yesterday was to tell her I took it and that it didn't work out for me. I have since, however; decided that I'll be honest and tell her that I just wasn't comfortable taking the medication and hope that she will approve leave for me. I'm still really frustrated, I'm sure Dr R wouldn't have done that to me! 

So I continue on, annoyed and frustrated, just trying to stay positive!

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