Monday, 20 June 2011

Today was... well it was...

Not a great day all in all. The morning was okay, but this afternoon keeps getting worse and worse. Don't get me wrong, having a house all to myself for a few hours after work has been great! (T took P to the zoo with grandma - I guess part of the reason I'm feeling sad/down)

I really wanted to go to the zoo for P's first trip! I feel like I'm missing out, but I did tell T that it was okay to take her without me. I hope he took lots of pictures! I've also had an upset stomach and a wicked headache all day! I had to break down and take some tylenol (which I don't like to do especially when pregnant). I might need to go for a prenatal massage sooner than I thought!

This pregnancy is already taking a toll on me! I can't sleep very well, I have a sore back and legs almost every day, cramping (couldn't be braxton hicks already could it?), and I'm not even big yet! Sorry, all I feel like doing today is whining....maybe not such a great time to start writing a post. I'm just mentally exhausted today, I'm physically tired too and this doesn't help me to "be positive". It's days like this that I wonder if I can really do "this" (this being dealing with depression without medication).

Many, many people out there have to deal with so much more in life! Starvation, homelessness, illness, death; billions of people have to deal with these things on a day to day basis. It's this sentiment that makes me feel like I should be happy with my life and feel lucky with all the blessings I have; yet, I live under this dark cloud and sometimes feel as though I can't deal with anything! Even day to day tasks seem monumental...just having a shower takes a mountain of effort some days! It's so difficult to climb out of this hole I'm in, and it takes such a mental and physical toll on me (and I'm sure everyone else too)!

I'm gonna go and try some of the exercises that A gave me at our last session... goodnight!

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